The Hokage's Assistant
by HanareHatake
Summary: Shizune's burned out and Kakashi sends her on vacay. Shikamaru lines up some temp interviews for Hokage's Assistant. A certain green-haired kunoichi applies for the job and is by far the best candidate in Kakashi's humble and completely unbiased opinion… but considering official appearances-and personal sanity-can the painfully single Rokudaime afford to hire her?
1. Chapter 1

Shizune grabbed the hair at her temples and growled furiously at the stack of documents in front of her. _Why can't Kakashi-I mean, the Hokage-just do it right for once?!_ The tall, svelte jonin rifled through the stack and confirmed what she already knew: signatures in the wrong places, missing sign offs, doodles on important diplomatic docs, erroneous initials on things that didn't need it… and even a flyer for a maid café (opening soon near Ichiraku!) hidden near the bottom of the pile.

Shizune had been working 80+ hour weeks for several months, and this kind of lazy, inattentive output was _still_ a major source of stress with her boss. _Tsunade_ never had this issue with the paperwork. What was Kakashi's problem?! Now she'd have to redraft this entire set of documents and try _again_ to get the Hokage to review them correctly. Shizune seethed. "Gah! This is _insane_ -"

"Am I interrupting?" A pleasant voice came from the door. Shizune froze. She smoothed her onyx pixie cut rapidly so as not to look unprofessional and spun around to face the man in the doorway, papers clutched to her chest and a tight smile on her face.

Kakashi Hatake, the Sixth Hokage, stood there with one hand stuck in his pocket and the rest of him in a sort of easy slouch. He was tall for a Leaf Village shinobi and generally regarded as handsome, which was strange because his face was always half-covered by the ninja mask he wore (and had been ever since kindergarten). His defining feature besides the mask was his shock of naturally unruly silver hair that stuck up on top of his head in silky, tufty spikes. Now that Kakashi was in his mid-30s some of his hair was certainly just regular old-guy-gray (and slightly less full than when when they'd been teens), but Shizune would _never_ mention that. She and Kakashi had been comrades and friends a long time, and she knew he was a lot more sensitive than he let on.

"Ah, it's nothing, Hokage sir!" Shizune waved a dismissive hand. Kakashi had always been kind to her… it wasn't like he was doing bad work on purpose, anyway. It must just not be his forté…

"You should just call me Kakashi, Shizune," he said, looking very ill-at-ease. The stiff dark blue uniform and gray flak vest of his Hokage ensemble never seemed to suit him as well as his old jonin outfit. Shizune felt sorry for him. She knew he hated the ceremonial haori and hat even more. Without thinking, Shizune sighed aloud-partly out of empathy for her friend, and partly out of her own fatigue.

"What's wrong," Kakashi said, leaning against the doorframe and crossing his arms. He looked genuinely interested. Shizune glanced out the window of the Hokage office, over the stacks of paperwork they had yet to do, past the Konoha skyline and toward the mountains. It was already late in the day. Shizune debated whether to say anything.

"Did you ever just want to do like, something really strange as a kid?" she said after a minute, still staring out the window.

Kakashi thought. "Not really. I wanted to be top of my class. Then later… a top jonin, and head of Anbu. And then…" he fell quiet for a moment. "Yeah, like I said, not really."

Shizune nodded like she'd expected his answer. "You always were tops, Kakashi! It's good to be focused. Look how much you've achieved."

"But that wasn't your point," Kakashi smiled slightly under his mask.

Shizune sighed again. "No, it wasn't." She took a breath. "When I was little, I wanted to be a champion golfer!" She rolled her eyes and blushed a little. Kakashi blinked in surprise. Shizune was silent, as if she expected him to laugh at her or something.

"I'll admit, I never would've guessed," Kakashi said. Shizune glanced up at him. "But," Kakashi continued, "It makes perfect sense. You're athletic, very focused yourself, and not afraid of hard work." Shizune blushed deeper at her friend's praise.

"I practiced a lot for awhile," she added. "Out in the back fields by the Explosives Testing Center."

"That's a restricted area!" Kakashi chuckled.

"Living on the edge. To golf," she giggled. She glanced out the window again.

"Why didn't you pursue it?" Kakashi asked, when she didn't say more.

"Eh… It was more convenient to enroll in the Academy," she shrugged. She absently straightened the papers in her arms. "And that wasn't a bad decision, it's just now that I'm getting older, well, sometimes…" she trailed off.

Kakashi nodded. "You need a vacation," he said.

Shizune looked to see if he was joking, then laughed. "Hokage sir, not sure if that's such a good idea."

"You mean because without you, I might not survive the paperwork-well, let's say the paperwork might not survive _me_ , if we're being honest," Kakashi said. Shizune winced and opened her mouth but Kakashi held up a hand. "No need to refute it, Shizune. We both know it's true." He grinned and his eyes squinted in two arcs. Shizune found herself smiling back at him automatically.

"Actually, Shizune," Kakashi continued, I've been meaning to ask you… I thought maybe…"

Shizune kept grinning, but a tiny bead of sweat formed at her temple. _What on earth does he want now?_ The last time it was for her to stand in line _all day_ for the midnight screening of _Icha Icha Tactics: The Movie,_ all so he could get the best seats! He really was a silly personality, at times…

"Maybe…" Kakashi reached up and scratched the back of his head. "I thought maybe you and I could do something. Together. Sometime. I mean… well, I've never gone golfing before."

Shizune stared at the Hokage. It felt like someone had just dumped ice water on her head. _Did the Hokage-I mean, Kakashi-did he just, just, just…?_ Shizune's grip on the stack of ruined documents tightened to a viselike level. Kakashi was standing casually in the door like it was any other normal afternoon, just waiting for her to answer. He wasn't looking at her though-he was kind of staring off at the potted plant. Shizune felt bad. She gathered her thoughts.

"Well, Kakashi, while I do appreciate the thought, it is a bit inappropriate. You are my boss right now, after all. And… we've been friends a long time, so I feel I can be honest with you: I'm not interested in you that way. For the record-I actually don't even like guys that much. I mean, I've dated them, but I don't like them as much as I like women, if you know what I mean."

Kakashi's surprised gaze swung from the potted plant to Shizune, then to the floor, the ceiling, and finally out the window.

When he spoke his voice was calm and smooth. "You're right, that was inappropriate. I was out of line. I'm sorry."

"It's fine," Shizune waved her hand, but she didn't meet his gaze.

"My sincerest apologies if I've made you feel uncomfortable, Shizune. I… I was serious earlier, about the vacation-you deserve one. The office can survive without you for a couple weeks. I'll make sure of it."

Shizune peered up at him. "Kakashi-"

He held up a hand. "No arguments. And your job will be right here waiting when you get back." He laughed. "Probably with tons of fires for you to put out. I'll do my best not to add to the mess, but I can't make any promises."

Shizune was quiet a moment. "Thanks, Kakashi."

"You should go get packed. Your Hokage is ordering you to leave tomorrow morning. I'll arrange the transportation."

Shizune giggled. "Shall I bring you back a shot glass?"

"Yeah," Kakashi turned to leave. "And Shizune… make sure you get a few rounds of golf in." He lifted a hand, then walked off down the hall.

Shizune listened to the Hokage's footsteps recede. When she was sure he was gone, the jonin flung the papers in the air and let out a raucous squeal.

"A VACATION!"

…


	2. Chapter 2

"You can't survive without Shizune," Shikamaru said flatly at 8 a.m., dropping a new stack of forms on Kakashi's desk. The folders landed with a whip-like _crack_ on the maple surface. Kakashi winced - hopefully not visibly - and started thinking of ways to subtly get back at Shikamaru. Tell him Temari had called, perhaps, when she really hadn't. Or maybe hide one of the minor shogi pieces. That would really drive the young commander nuts…

"Sir. _Sir…_ Kaka-sensei!" Shikamaru's peeved voice broke through Kakashi's reverie with the force of shadows. Kakashi stopped spinning in his chair and faced the Nara scion, hands laced bureaucratically.

"What." The silver-haired Hokage's face showed less than zero emotion.

Shikamaru sighed. "I was saying. You need an assistant while Shizune's on vacation. We're short-handed, at the moment. So I took the liberty of…"

Kakashi didn't like the sound of where this might be going. "Just send for Sakura, then"

"Sakura's running the hospital, as you well know!"

"How about Ino?"

"Ino is on her honeymoon with Sai."

"Hinata?"

"Lord Hokage! You cannot ask a princess of the Hyuga clan to be your secretary - have you completely lost your mind?!"

"If you say so. What's Anko up to."

Shikamaru slapped a palm to his forehead. "Anko is on a top secret mission overseas - you sent her yourself!"

"Did I? Hmmm," Kakashi put a hand on his chin.

"We're reduced to using a temp agency," Shikamaru said. "Unless you want a male assistant. Guy-san has volunteered. Of course."

Kakashi sat bolt upright. " _No."_ Images of Guy challenging him to paper-stamping contests and seeing green-jumpsuit-clad buttocks over the file cabinet as Guy performed superhuman headstands flitted through the Rokudaime's mind.

"If men are to be considered, why not Iruka-sensei?" Kakashi said plaintively.

"I already asked. He turned us down. Apparently he's really busy with the Konoha Tulip Bulb Collector's Association or something," Shikamaru replied drily. Kakashi leaned his head on his hand and pouted. Shikamaru gestured at the files on the desk. "These are the top candidates from Accu-Hire agency. Take a look before lunch and lemme know what you think."

Just then Shikamaru's tablet _dinged_. He pulled it out and swiped. "Kuso," he muttered.

"What?" Kakashi leaned forward to peer at the tablet. Shizune's grinning face looked at him upside-down. She was flashing a peace sign and holding up a golf club.

Shikamaru read the text aloud: " _I called the Allied Golf Committee on a whim and they accepted me into the semi-pro tourney! It starts in two weeks, so I'll be gone at least three!"_

Kakashi and Shikamaru stared dourly at the tablet. Finally Kakashi shrugged. "I did tell her to go play some golf… Tell her congratulations, eh?"

Shikamaru nodded. "Hopefully in three weeks there'll still be a Hokage office for her to come back to. I'll go pray at the temple that we survive that long."

"Good idea," Kakashi murmured. "I'll dig into these…" He reached for the stack of candidates.

"Great. And please - look at their _professional qualifications_ ," Shikamaru said as he opened the door.

Kakashi stiffened. "Of course - what else would I be looking at?"

Shikamaru waved and left. The door shut softly behind him.

"Alright let's see which of you has the highest WPM," Kakashi chuckled as he took out the first resumé.


End file.
